5 Easy Activities to Entertain Your Kids

It’s summer now. The days are longer, the nights are hotter, and there is even less to occupy your child’s day than there has been for the past few months. It looking a little rough for a lot of us oms out there. Thankfully, kids are pretty low maintenance compared with us and it doesn’t take much to distract them. Here are 5 easy to facilitate activities to help our family get through the never ending summer.

Photo by Georgia Maciel on Pexels.com
  1. Take a day time baths. No pool? No problem! Set your little one up for a splashy soak in the tub! Use bubbles, bath bombs, tons of toys, or bath crayons to make it a more engaging activity. Plus, kiddos are pretty happy to splash around in here for while, so bring a book or tablet with you or catch up on your shows while they splash the day away.
  2. Watch a movie together. Go all out! Make pop corn (cooking is another great activity idea), turn the lights off, snuggle on the couch. For this one tho, you’ve actually got to watch with them. Kids can tell pretty easily if we’re engaged or not, and when we disengage, it becomes easier for them to do the same. Watching movies with your kids may seem basic, but it gives you unique insight on their sense of humor, their cognitive abilities, and laughing together helps strengthen your bond. Plus, kids movies are pretty funny these days! Most animators bear in mind that adults will be watching with their kids, and they try to sneak some stuff in their for us too,
  3. Do a movie-related activity. Use the movie you watched together as the jumping off point for another activity. Just watch spiderman? Introduce your little one to Parkour on youtube and create your own parkour obstacle course at home! Watching a movie with monsters or creepy creatures? Make monster masks, then play Monster Tag! You can take any element from the movie and expand on it, as long as your little one is engaged.
  4. Build a fort. Then hang out inside of it! I don’t know what it is about small, dark, enclosed spaces but kids seem to love them! Build a fort with whatever you have, then stock it with snacks, books and toys and hang out for a while.
  5. Use empty boxes to create life size blocks. It seems almost too simple but your kids will be entertained for hours! Just collect a couple empty delivery boxes, fold them closed and show your kids how high they can stack with just a few boxes. Make room for them to crash their towers without hurting themselves or anything else, and watch them laugh
img via https://www.honestlymodern.com/5-ways-to-reuse-your-amazon-cardboard-boxes/

6 Essentials Tips to Eliminate Stress + Live a Happier Life

The word stress is practically synonymous with the title of mom. There are memes about it, character tropes based on it, even entire companies who make their living, on the backs of stressed moms. 

Everyone reacts differently to stress and feel it manifest in different ways. Some people’s responses are more extreme than others. Some of us are predisposed to be more susceptible to the effects of stress depending on our genetics and the environment we grew up in. But no matter how severe our stress and anxiety, there are resources out there to help us cope and not let stress take over our lives. 

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’re living in pretty stressful times. But we’re in this fight together and we’re stronger when we band together for support! So to help as many of our fellow mama’s out as we can, we’ve curated a list of items, activities and ideas to help you fight back against stress and anxiety.

Create a Soundtrack for Your Life
Music is a fast and easy way to distract our minds from the onslaught of stressors coming at us from all sides. A good playlist can help you forget about almost anything, at least for a little while. And that little brain break will help you think clearer, feel better, and gives your frazzled brain a second to cool off, which could help you to make better decisions or find solutions to the issue that is causing you stress.

Move Your Body
We don’t advocate for movement for the sake of weight loss, or even for physical health, although it’s obviously great for that too. For us, the real power in movement comes from the effect it has on our brains. Moving our bodies has some serious mood boosting power; it releases endorphins, helps us think more clearly and thus problem solve better, and perhaps most effectively, it can help release some of the tension that gets stored in our bodies and muscles when we’re in a state of heightened stress. If we don’t find outlets for that tension causing energy, our bodies become a manifestation of our mental struggle, with an increase in muscle fatigue and joint soreness (3).

Create a Sacred Ritual
This one definitely reads a little kitschy, we get that, but it’s vitally important in maintaining sanity. Often as moms our mental and physical needs are pushed to the perimeter to make space for the needs and desires of our families. Obviously, we’re not going to have time for ourselves the way we did before we had kids, but we still need to be making time for ourselves, even if all we can find is 10 or 15 minutes at the beginning or end of the day, make a point to take some time back. What you do with that time is up to your specific needs, but carve out a niche of time and commit to making your needs a priority, just for that chunk of time. 10 minutes to do a face mask or read a book, a 15 minute shower, a quiet cup of coffee in the morning, any activity that brings you joy and fulfils an unmet need – no matter how serious or mundane – those are the only requirements!

Focus on Joy
There is an old adage that says, whatever you focus on, grows. Even if you’re new to the ideas and practices of mindfulness, it’s likely that you’ve experienced this process and can vouch for its truth. Like that feeling after a big fight with someone you care about, when you can’t stop thinking about what was said or unsaid and your feelings of anger or regret just keep bubbling up to the surface. Or the excitement after you meet someone new, and can’t stop thinking about them. So much that you build up an image or expectation of them, based more on your ideas and feelings, than on who they actually are. The point is, our minds get carried away, so it’s important that we give them a direction to wander. Focusing on the joy you feel throughout the day helps you to find more of it. The feeling after the kids are asleep and you can finally relax; the joy you get watching your child laugh uncontrollably or discover something new. There is no joy too small, so say out loud the things you’re grateful for, that make you smile, that you love about your life! And see how much easier it becomes to spark joy.

Play More!
Ever wonder how kids seem to be so worry free? They spend most of their day playing! As we grow up, playing becomes almost taboo for adults. We look down on other adults who play video games or participate in activities like cosplay or role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons. But the benefits of regular playtime are well documented and become more valuable as we get older. Playing, or engaging in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than practical purposes, is known to stimulate the creative centers in our brains, releasing endorphins that help us cope with our emotions and the world around us (1). When we play, we smile more, which triggers our internal alert system (read: fight or flight) to turn off, allowing us to relax at a deeper level. And the opportunity to decide for yourself how you will spend your time resonates deeply within us and when done regularly, can help us feel more in control of our lives (2). We obviously can’t spend our days playing anymore, but engaging in playful activities for even 20 minutes ca have a major effect or your mood and your psyche and the awesome thing about playing is that it can be anything we want it to be! Organized sports, board games, puzzles, sewing, baking, photography and painting are just a handful of examples of perfect playtime activities for adults. 

Stress Toys
Manipulative toys like zen gardens and stress balls have been around for years before the fidget spinner craze of 2015. Fidget spinners brought this product category to mainstream markets where they had previously been tools for therapists and their patients. These toys aim to eliminate stress by creating a physical distraction for our bodies, allowing our minds to relax and stress or anxiety to melt away. There are tons of toys on the market, but there are also many options for stress toys that you can create with what you have at home! Rainbow Rice and Cloud Putty are some of our favorites! Check out this recipe for Lavander Cloud Putty via Hello Giggles.

Stress Toys
Manipulative toys like zen gardens and stress balls have been around for years before the fidget spinner craze of 2015. Fidget spinners brought this product category to mainstream markets where they had previously been tools for therapists and their patients. These toys aim to eliminate stress by creating a physical distraction for our bodies, allowing our minds to relax and stress or anxiety to melt away. There are tons of toys on the market, but there are also many options for stress toys that you can create with what you have at home! Rainbow Rice and Cloud Putty are some of our favorites! Check out this recipe for Lavander Cloud Putty via Hello Giggles.

Ingredients:

  1. Conditioner
  2. Corn starch
  3. Flour
  4. Lavender essential oil
  5. Food coloring

Directions

  1. Mix desired food coloring together in a bowl with the conditioner. Stir until mixture is thoroughly blended.
  2. Combine conditioner mixture with the rest of ingredient and mix together until soldiified. 
  3. If your mixture is too runny, corn starch will help to solidify the mixture and make it less sticky. 

XO, Fake Mom

Sources:
1/Definitions from Oxford Languages
2/https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-chronicles-infertility/201908/the-importance-playing-and-relaxing
3/https://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=Hhe1-tgUBNwC&oi=fnd&pg=PR11&dq=mental+health+and+exercise&ots=BFpZh24X0Y&sig=R7A6n719_exeUiVrH9FWV9frH2I#v=onepage&q=mental%20health%20and%20exercise&f=false
4/ image via https://www.afloral.com/products/french-lavender-dried-flower-bundle-11-15-long?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIweO6-__Z6QIVnB-tBh2vLg9BEAQYBiABEgJGuPD_BwE

Step Mom Acronyms and Their Meanings

We just wanted to share a quick post today about something helpful we recently learned, that has made it easier to move through some of the online communities relating to motherhood.

Motherhood can look very different depending on your situation, but there is a community out there for you, whatever your motherhood looks like. One of the subcultures we relate to the most here at Fake Mom, is the Step Mom community. As with any group, they’ve developed a language that allows them to communicate effectively with each other. As an outsider, some of these words and acronyms can be confusing or hard to decode. It took us a while to wade through alternate definitions before we found the meaning behind the word that helped us to realize that this was actually a community we could relate to. That being said, we want to share with you what we’ve found, so that if this is your community and you just haven’t realized it yet, you can find your village.

TermMeaning
BDBiological Daughter
BSBiological Son
BFBiological/Birth Father
BFBoyfriend (alternate)
BMBiological/Birth Mother
CACustody Agreement
COCourt Order
CPCustodial Parent
CS/CSOChild Support, Child Support Order
CPSChild Protective Services
DDDear Daughter
DHDear Husband
DSDear Son
EoWEvery Other Week
EoWeEvery Other Weekend
FILFather in Law
FHFuture Husband
FWFuture Wife
FSD/FSSFuture Step Daughter, Future Step Son
FSKFuture Step Kids
GALGuardian Ad Litem
GFGirlfriend (alternate)
GF, GM, GPGrandfather, Grandmother, Grandparents
HCBMHigh Conflict Bio/Birth Mother
HCBFHigh Conflict Bio/Birth Father
LGLegal Guardian
MILMother in Law
NCPNon-Custodial Parent
OHOther Half
PPO/PO(Personal) Protective Order
SAHMStay at Home Mom
SDStep Daughter
SK or SKIDSStep Kids
SOSignificant Other
SSStep Son
TFThe/Their Father
TMThe/Their Mother
TOWThe Other Woman
TOMThe Other Mom
XFILEx Father in Law
XMILEx Mother in Law
XHEx Husband
XWEx Wife
#Age of subject (i.e. SD9)

XO, Fake Mom

Sources:

Welcome Home!

We’re so glad you’re finally here!

Welcome to Fake Mom, the online community for the unconventional mom. Click HERE to find out a little bit about where we came from.

We hope that you will make yourself at home here. We want to help you breathe through the stress, laugh through the tears and know that, here, you are most important. You’re doing great, sweetie! And we love you so much.

Each week we will feature new content designed to help you through the real $h!* life throws at you. We’ll talk parenting techniques, childhood trauma, overcoming our unique challenges, how we stay so fly through all the drama and more. Our community will consist of our core writing team, unconventional moms themselves, raising kids and crushing their dreams; our panel of moms, your new go-to for all your mommy questions; and most importantly, YOU! Other unconventional moms looking for a place with real advice, real resources and a real community.

If you have some time, please, look around. Get to know the Mama Knows Best moms, download your free copy of #MomHacks or drop us a line and let us know what kind of content you wanna see in the future, or just say wassup! We can’t wait to hear from you.

The Fakest of Them All…

Hi there! You can call me Jas. I’m from California, and I’m raising a child that is not mine by birth. Stepmom? Not quite. Foster parent? Kinda…

I’ll get into the details of our back story a bit later, once we know each other a little more. But in a nutshell, I have guardianship of my two year old nephew, who has lived with me since just after his first birthday. It’s a jarring adjustment to bring a child into your life, and unlike conventional moms, I did not have months to prepare myself.

If motherhood is the hardest job in the world, unconventional motherhood is like doing that job with a blindfold on. Raising a child encompasses so many emotions; joy, pain, relief, anxiety, fear, power, love, loneliness. When you’re not doing it how everyone else does, all of those emotions are amplified.

And whether you agree or not that motherhood is the hardest job in the world, it is easily the most important. Without a doubt, whether we want to admit or not, the relationship that affects us more than any other relationship we will ever have, is the one we have with our mother. Moms are the foundation, the rocks, the compases, the glue, everything! And No mom, no matter the qualifier – single mom, stepmom, FAKE MOM –  should feel alone in her struggles or unsupported by her community.

And that’s what has brought me here, to Fake Mom. My friends don’t have kids, so I turned to the internet and mom bloggers for help.

There are a million Mom-Blogs out there and they’re great, but looking at a beautiful woman, her spacious home and her impeccably dressed family doesn’t really make me feel great about the fact that sometimes, I just can’t get a shower in, all weekend, no matter how hard I try. Or the fact that my baby is struggling with residual trauma and sometimes he gets so upset, I can’t console him. Or help me to understand why the lack of a ring on my finger is so triggering to strangers.

Fake Mom gets it, girl.

Just to clear the air before it gets clouded, the term FAKE MOM is something I coined to refer to myself, and is in no way meant to demean or ridicule anyone. It’s a reflection of a very personal struggle to make sense of an identity and reality that don’t always make sense together. One that I’m still adjusting to. In that struggle, as I’m sure you can relate, is where the most growth happens.

I won’t talk about myself too much on here, as it’s not meant to be a personal blog. Fake Mom isn’t about me, it’s about us. Thank you for being here.

Now that you know a little bit about me, click HERE to learn a little bit more about Fake Mom.